01 — The premise

I’m an Imago trained relationship therapist. Imago aims to heal and transform relationships by exploring the unconscious dynamics that influence our choice of partners. By fostering empathy, effective communication, and deep understanding, it helps couples create a conscious and fulfilling connection based on mutual growth and healing. Our goal is for the couple to start seeing each other as a team in confronting their mutual issues, instead of seeing the other as a problem to be fixed or changed.

02 — Understanding each other

In the initial sessions, we use tools to explore and understand the patterns and characteristics of our ideal partners that stem from our childhood wounds and joys. This process helps individuals identify their relationship needs, desires, and areas for personal growth. Imago theory suggests that we are often attracted to people with opposite qualities, but as the romantic phase fades, we start experiencing the negative aspects of those qualities. We delve into how our personalities develop and how we reject certain parts of ourselves, which our partners tend to embody, pointing us back to self-discovery. By examining these fundamental aspects, we develop empathy for our partners and take responsibility for our choice in a partner, recognizing the opportunities they offer even during challenging times.

03 — Safety

When most couples enter therapy, they have lost safety and connection in their relationship. Our first work is to restore safety. Without safety we cannot have connection or satisfying intimacy. In the safety phase of Imago therapy, the focus is on creating a safe and supportive environment for both partners. It involves establishing ground rules, active listening, and empathetic communication techniques to foster trust, vulnerability, and emotional safety. This phase sets the foundation for deeper exploration and healing within the therapeutic process.

04 — Connection

Safety and connection work synergistically. During the connection phase of Imago therapy, the primary aim is to facilitate a profound sense of understanding and intimacy between partners. This phase encompasses a range of techniques and strategies designed to enhance communication, deepen emotional connection, and foster a safe and secure environment for open dialogue. Through active listening, partners learn how to truly hear and validate each other's experiences, thoughts, and feelings without judgment or criticism. They acquire essential skills to express themselves authentically and effectively, promoting mutual understanding and empathy. The connection phase also involves exploring and addressing any underlying issues, unmet needs, or unresolved conflicts that may be impacting the relationship. By creating a supportive space for vulnerability and sharing, couples can gradually build trust, strengthen their emotional bond, and cultivate a more harmonious and fulfilling partnership.

05 — Growth

The growth phase of Imago therapy involves engaging in structured dialogues that foster open and honest communication between partners. These dialogues provide a safe space to express feelings, needs, and concerns while actively listening and validating each other's experiences. Additionally, behavior change requests are introduced, allowing couples to make specific requests for changes that support their relationship goals. This process facilitates meaningful behavior change and promotes a deeper understanding and connection between partners.

06 — Healing

The healing phase of Imago therapy focuses on integrating lost parts of the self and healing childhood wounds that may be triggered within the relationship. Through guided exploration and understanding, individuals learn to identify and address unresolved emotional wounds, allowing for personal growth and self-acceptance. Partners work together to create a safe and supportive environment that encourages healing, empathy, and the restoration of wholeness within themselves and their relationship.